Sunday, October 31, 2010

TOO MUCH CANDY

today=2500
yesterday=1800

UUGGHH sooo disgusting. i have a doctors appt tomorrow. at least the good thing about looking disgustingly fat and bloated is that she might tell me to lose more so my family will actually be encouraginh me to lose weight and making me skinny :) that would be the life! i also just really want to learn about my body! cause i look so gross. im in the "healthy" weight range and under the average, so why do i still look fat? and you might say its "the disease" but its not. i know its a little part of it, but it's not. i'm legit fat. and i don't know what to do! i hate being only 4'11. i really want like big boobs cause then it'll make my tummy look smaller!! it'll hide my fat! thats how the rest of the women in my family deal with it but my boobs are only like between a 32A-34B. (mostly b's but sometimes i'll find an A, and the 34's are getting pretty lose, same with 32's) UGHH it totally sucks.
today i prob had around.. 15 pieces of candy FOR SHIZ. but that was only about HALF of my calorie intake. the other was my lunch where my rents made me eat 5 SLICES OF GARLIC BREAD. and at the end they were like "wow you ate a lot. you did good"
i think the reason i binge is because if i eat anything, i eat everything. and my rents MAKE ME EAT. I WANT TO LIVE ON MY OWN IN COLLEGE ALREADY
why can't i be skinny???? i'm sick and tired of hiding behind sweatshirts and baggy clothes.

No comments:

Post a Comment