yesterday morning i wrote all over my stomach FAT.
yesterday evening i was just about to leave for zumba and was talking to my mom about how the doctor said i had to be healthy, and how that didn't mean that i could eat a smoothie then pasta for dinner (that's what we had) and how my tummy was big... then i lifted up my shirt to show her then quickly pulled it down but not before she saw. "what's on your stomach?" she lifted up my shirt and saw the word FAT written hugely across my stomach. i told her it was because after dinner i felt disgusting and huge. but that was just like blah blah blah to her. i missed zumba, we talked for an hour then i went to the "bathroom" and just wiped it all off. then i sat in my bed, cried and listened. i could hear my mom and my dad whispering. "psss pss psss.... she did what? ... pss psss pssss... and she knows that too... ps pss psss.... now that's crossing the line.... " then i just stopped listening and tried to drown out the noise by watching friends... i'm scared. i'm SO scared. i don't have school today. i'm home alone. you would think i'd be exercising and not eating... but i'm numb. i'm lying here on the internet. eating cereal. watching friends. i'm numb. i don't know what to do.
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